
ugh. well, what can i say about my day. i slept til 7 and then did nothing. eventually i ended up smoking some really good crack, just took a suboxone. great. the puking feeling is finally fading. i dont understand what the fuck is wrong with me. but i function fine. i get A's. its not like when i was 16. were led to believe that..what i do...IE: junkies...are just JUNKIES. unemployed, unproductive, desgusting, etc...but for years ive been doing the same shit and still managed fine. well, i was on medical leave for a year but that was unrelated to drug usage (yay for organ failure!)...really. drugs probably didnt help but they didnt cause me being sick and shit. but back to my point..its all about the attitude. when i was a junior i WANTED to fail, be the worst. i did slightly more heroin in those days. now i like to be the best. or good, whatever, big ego. i function. ugh. i'm too high to write, this just sounds like a piece of denial.